The Inner Child
The image captures something of the inner child within all of us. The purity, innocence and beauty of two children reaching out, while the proud, stubborn and frustrated adults turn their backs on each other. I like to imagine the conversation between the two children is the one we would all love to have. We…
The challenge of change
Change takes many forms, some are by design, we actively seek something new, some are forced upon us, we have to react to a change in our environment. Whatever form it takes we need to adapt, and that is where the challenges begin. Change means we can’t keep doing what we’ve always done, we need…
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
We suffer in the denial of what is. We attempt to change it, deny it, suppress it, hide it, ignore it, numb it – anything to avoid feeling discomfort. We crave pleasure and have an aversion to discomfort. Our ‘doing’ is almost always an attempt to move away from pain and toward comfort. We rarely are still…
Who am I? (part 2)
The persona. The mask we wear. The character we choose to become to play our role in the particular drama we found ourselves in. A role given to us and created by us so we could fit in, belong, be accepted, so we could survive. We couldn’t survive alone. We needed to be in relationship…
Who am I?
As I explore this idea of identity it is becoming clear that who we are is a result of, and in relationship to, the environment we live in. We adapt to and are conditioned by the world around us. We take on the form or persona that allows us to survive and perhaps thrive within…
I am enough
I am enough A simple sentence, but let’s explore what it contains. Try it on, see how it feels. Imagine the possibilities if it was true. Imagine the weight being lifted from your shoulders. Feel what it’s like to let the resistance drop away. Notice the sense of liberation, the freedom it provides. Follow its…
The Problem-Solver
Many of us carry an inner voice that whispers – I’ll be happy when, safe when, loveable when – constantly trying to solve a problem. We become a ‘doing’ – how do I survive, how do I fit in, what do I need to do to be accepted. These are the forces that shaped us.…
The Insecure High Achiever
Childhood Conditioning and the Roots of Insecurity We are all conditioned by our early childhood experiences. Some of those are positive and some less so. The work of Gabor Maté and Bessel van der Kolk both points to the impact of big T and little t trauma and the imprint it leaves on us. For…
Human First: My Journey Towards Integrating Spirituality, Coaching, and Therapy
When I first came to coaching, my approach was almost entirely future-focused. It was always about achieving the next success. In sport, in business, in life my mantra had been “be strong, be independent, and achieve stuff.” That drive had served me well. But, if I’m honest, it was also a mask. A suit of…
Wake up – that’s not who you are anymore.
Are you still introducing yourself as the person you were 20 years ago? It’s so easy to cling to old definitions of ourselves, even as our environments change. We tweak old behaviours to fit in, like a chameleon changing colours on the outside, but remaining the same on the inside. For me, this hit home when I…
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