As I explore this idea of identity it is becoming clear that who we are is a result of, and in relationship to, the environment we live in.
We adapt to and are conditioned by the world around us. We take on the form or persona that allows us to survive and perhaps thrive within the rules or accepted norms of where we find ourselves.
‘Rick’ was the identity formed to survive and thrive in my home and school environment. I took on ‘athlete’ as an extension of that persona. Later, ‘teacher,’ ‘coach,’ and ‘leader’ were added as ways to share what I had learned.
But persona is just the mask we wear within the particular dramas of our life. Like any actor, we learn to stay within the predictable rules of the role.
Each role or identity carries its own rules, principles, permissions, and expectations. Each also brings opportunities and entitlements. They have given me access, recognition, and a platform that has been the foundation of many of the successes I have enjoyed.
There is much in this I don’t want to give up.
Yet when I examine it through the lens of Krishnamurti’s words — “all identity is conflict” — I notice that identity offers limitations as well as opportunities. In defining who I am, it also defines what I am not.
There is an expectation for me to be strong, knowledgeable, independent. But my identities also limit me: it is difficult for me to be vulnerable; to admit I don’t know the answer; to do anything that might be seen as weak; to let people down; to disappoint others; to break the rule of “boys don’t cry”?
Of course I can do any of these things. But doing so requires breaking the habits and patterns that I have allowed to become part of my identity.
When I explore what it means to step into my future potential, I see that the greatest opportunities are not found in doing more of what I’ve always done, but in stepping into the spaces where I dare to break free from the self-imposed limitations of identity
Clear view 