I recently read a beautiful chapter from Branden Collinsworth’s upcoming book, The Love That You Are. The chapter, titled A Man’s Worth, is a rich exploration of the achiever, the performer, the competitor, the warrior -identities that exist in all of us, regardless of gender.
It speaks to those who have ever felt they had to prove their worth, carry the weight of expectation, or suffer in silence. It challenges the idea that strength is about enduring alone, reminding us that true power lies in vulnerability, in breaking the cycle, in choosing to heal.
The words that follow are from A Man’s Worth. If the term man doesn’t fit who you are, I invite you to read them through your own lens—replace it with athlete, warrior, champion, leader, visionary, provider. Because at its core, this message is for anyone who has ever fought an inner battle they didn’t know how to name.
A Man’s Worth
We talk about men like they are unbreakable, like strength is the only thing that matters, like their worth is measured in how much they can take without breaking.
But here’s the truth: beneath the armour, there’s a war – one too many are fighting. The boy who was told to ‘man-up’ or to tough it out before he could name his fears, grew into a man who drags them like chains in the dark. We applaud his hustle, his grit, the way he walks through fire, but no one asks if the fire is burning him alive.
And here’s the cost: on average, across the world one man takes his life every minute.
Not because they are weak, but because the world taught them to suffer in silence, to wear their wounds like trophies, and to bury their pain where no one can see.
Enduring in silence may feel like strength, but real strength is something else entirely.
It’s breaking the cycle.
It’s saying “Enough”.
It’s choosing to heal.
To the men:
Let’s cut through the noise.
Start here.
Name your pain.
Stop pretending it’s not there.
Call it what it is: anger, fear, shame, grief.
Speak it out loud, even if your voice shakes.
Pain grows in the dark – drag it into the light and watch it shrink.
Speak your truth.
Don’t sugarcoat it.
Tell someone, anyone, what’s really going on.
“I’m struggling”
“I feel lost”
These words don’t make you weak, they free you.
Build your circle.
You’re not supposed to do this alone.
Find people who’ll listen without judgement – a friend, a brother, a therapist, a group.
If that feels impossible, start with one conversation.
Let the boy inside heal.
Yeah, him. The kid who clenched their fists when they were told to stop crying. Who swallowed tears to avoid the sting of shame. They are still inside you, waiting for you to tell them it’s okay to let go.
Sit with stillness.
The world says, “Keep moving. Don’t stop.”
But screw that.
Slow down.
In the quiet, you’ll meet yourself again.
Breathe, let yourself feel everything you’ve been running from.
Stillness will show you what the noise never could.
Redefine strength.
Strength isn’t how much you can carry; it’s knowing when to put it down.
It’s saying, “I need help.”
True power lives in vulnerability, not in the weight of your silence.
To the women who love us:
Look past the stoic face, the clenched jaw.
We’re not just protectors or providers.
We’re dreamers, fragile souls stitched together, children who grew up too fast and never learned to slow down.
Ask him, “What are you carrying?” and stay there long enough to hear the answer he’s too scared to say.
Hold the space.
Hold the man.
Hold the boy who’s still fighting to be seen.
To all of us;
Check on your brothers
Ask them “How are you really?”
Don’t settle for the easy answer. Because often the strongest people you know are the ones best at hiding their pain.
Be the person who sees past the mask, who listens, who reminds them that they don’t have to carry it all alone.
A man’s worth isn’t in their silence.
It’s in his truth.
It’s in how he picks himself up when he’s hit rock bottom, how he loves with a heart that’s been cracked wide open but keeps beating anyway.
It’s time to stop running from the shadows and start owning them. To stand up and say, “Here I am – whole, flawed, human and still worthy of love”
Men, rewrite the script.
Drop the weight you were never meant to carry.
Speak. Heal. Let the world see you, all of you – scars, shadows and the light.
Because you are seen.
You are loved.
You are enough.
With love, Branden
(Instagram @BrandenCollinsworth)
This idea of opening up, recognising our strength and our vulnerability is at the heart of the work that I do. Whether it is working directly with athletes through Human First Athlete Transitions or with business leaders through Human Dynamics in Action what I want to do is explore this deep sense of humanity that is in all of us. Only when we start having different conversations can we begin to heal our old wounds and discover the fullness of our human potential.
If you are an athlete wanting to make sense of life as you transition beyond sport, we run an online programme called First Steps to create a better understanding of the emotional journey you are on and a residential retreat to do the deeper work of transformation.
If you are a leader looking to find greater meaning and purpose in your work, or if you are feeling stuck then our coaching and leadership programmes can help support you.
Please get in touch to find out more.
Contact me at support@h-d-i-a.com to book a discovery call.
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