The Human First Approach

Becoming Your Best Self 

It’s been good to be out on the road again recently, delivering workshops with a variety of client groups. Each session has had its own flavour, but the recurring theme has been this: how do we become our best self?

This is right at the heart of the work we do. It’s leadership development grounded in emotional intelligence – not just a set of tools, but a conscious approach to leading, which starts by learning to lead ourselves.

“Our capacity to lead others is only as good as our ability to lead ourselves.”

What I have become increasingly fascinated by is who we on those really good days. The days when life feels in flow, when we’re not only productive but easy to be around. We’re generous, connected, and purposeful. There’s a certain clarity and calm and we have a positive impact on others.

That’s the aim of the Human First approach – to access the fullness of our human potential. It is about understanding who we are so that we can have the greatest impact on others, whether we are leaders, parents or partners.

Emotional Intelligence – an expanded version

I’d been familiar with the standard model of emotional intelligence for a long time – the concept of self-awareness and self-management on one side with awareness of others and relationship management on the other. 

But the real shift came when I began to explore what happens before self awareness.

By placing positive self-regard before self-awareness, and positive regard for others before awareness of others, something opened up. It added warmth and depth to the model — a humanising lens that changed the way I approached leadership entirely.

 “Every act is an expression of love or a cry for help” 

Since then, this quote central to my approach. It always provides a moment to pause and consider what’s behind a reaction, in me or in someone else. I can’t always live up to it, but it’s a standard I return to again and again. That moment of pause is essential.

Conscious leadership

What I’m trying to explore in my work, whether coaching or facilitating groups, is how we can build this level of conscious awareness into our lives. It becomes a superpower – not only are we able to access the best of who we are, but we are able to better relationships at home and at work.

Tim Galwey wrote the Inner Game of Tennis in 1974. His simple formula is still relevant today:

Performance = Potential – Interference

The question becomes: what is getting in the way of us being at our best, and more deeply how might we be getting in our own way? And as leaders how do we ensure we are not the interference that is limiting someone else’s performance.

So often that interference is based on fear. Fear that we are not good enough. Fear that we are too much. Many of us are operating with intelligent strategies to either stand out and prove our worth or hide parts of us away, in the belief that we need to please others.

Three simple (?) questions

What is beginning to crystalise in my work right now are three questions. 

On the surface they look simple, but the more you sit with them the deeper they take you.

Who am I?

Who am I when I am free of fear? 

Who am I when I don’t need to prove my worth or please others? 

Who am I when I’m not limited by my past?

Who am I when I am connected to the fullness of my potential?

What impact do I want to make?

What are my great strengths?

What are my gifts?

What will I take responsibility for?

What contribution do I want to make to the world?

What do I need?

What support do I need?

What help do I want to ask for?

What do I long for?

What is my soul crying out for?

The aim of these questions is to bring you back to a sense of wholeness – the fullness of your human potential.

It comes from the simplicity of this poem:

Be, Be Love, Be Loved

This is the message behind the Human First approach. 

Leading self to lead others. 

Leading others to leading teams. 

Leading teams to leading organisations.

And all of it begins with simply reconnecting to who we are on our best days – and embracing the full potential of our humanity.