Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. 

We suffer in the denial of what is.  We attempt to change it, deny it, suppress it, hide it, ignore it, numb it – anything to avoid feeling discomfort. We crave pleasure and have an aversion to discomfort.  Our ‘doing’ is almost always an attempt to move away from pain and toward comfort.  We rarely are stillContinue reading “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. “

Who am I? (part 2)

The persona. The mask we wear. The character we choose to become to play our role in the particular drama we found ourselves in. A role given to us and created by us so we could fit in, belong, be accepted, so we could survive. We couldn’t survive alone. We needed to be in relationshipContinue reading “Who am I? (part 2)”

Redefining Strength

I recently read a beautiful chapter from Branden Collinsworth’s upcoming book, The Love That You Are. The chapter, titled A Man’s Worth, is a rich exploration of the achiever, the performer, the competitor, the warrior -identities that exist in all of us, regardless of gender. It speaks to those who have ever felt they had to prove their worth,Continue reading “Redefining Strength”

The Story Behind First Steps

I knew there was a ‘problem’ when I recognised that I was still introducing myself as a lacrosse player 15 years after I’d stopped playing. I was still holding onto an old identity; I was still attached to the sense of who I was when I was 24 years old.   This was 2009 andContinue reading “The Story Behind First Steps”

What happens next?

“The only constant is change” – a well-used cliché, and of course, the reason it sticks around is that there is an element of truth in it. Yet at the same time there is the stuff we get used to, become comfortable with and describe as ‘normal’. As human beings we are hugely resilient andContinue reading “What happens next?”

What happens if ‘the fear’ is the best thing about me?

One of the things I have found useful is the exploration of my own sense of fear, not the fear that prevents me doing myself harm but the fear that is a source of my own internal narrative. What I wanted to find out is whether the old stories and the habits they create continueContinue reading “What happens if ‘the fear’ is the best thing about me?”